July 1, 2011

Am I Normal? Therapy for myself, by myself.

So freaking tired of things happening and it's getting to me somewhat.  Recently, I've been fighting this whole being depressed about anything and everything.   Then if that dosn't work, it's something else, like feeling like a bad mom or wife.   What is wrong with me?  Why the hell do I worry so much about everything?

Can someone tell me how the hell to stop being so hard on myself?   Perhaps I feel disappointed in myself for not living up to my potential when I was younger.  Now that I am older, I have so much more confidence than before.   Contributing factors, including a good church, family, and a husband who dosn't let me get away with ignorance (EVER).

Guess I will keep going through the same crap until I learn to grow immunity to it!   Good, then I wont teach it to my son.

Oh my son, my love, you have no idea how precious you are to me.   Did anyone ever tell you that having a child would cause you to examine your own life, grow a concious, and spine?  Nope, it's a hard lesson, but it's the most helpful one. 

Only wish I would have let some people in my life know the truth.

Sure, what the hell!

  • Drunkard - you were a horrible step-father.
  • Uninterested - Isolating yourself from everyone mentally is not a healthy way of being a parent.  
  • Pervert. - I feel sorry for how pathetic you are.
  • Cheater/Liar - You have all these beautiful things and you don't appreciate any of it.
  • Bully - For being the first person to show me what a bully really is.

You know what you've done and I want to tell you this.  SCREW YOU.  Thanks for being my inspiration to be a good person and not a loser like you.

No, I am not normal, nor do I ever want to be.  It's sad, but I am one of the few who have decided to go against the norm of being a loser who openly aceccpts evil.

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