Hello Strangers.... I didn't die.

     So it's been a couple years since I posted anything on this blog.  I don't even know where to start, besides the fact that two years ago I went through this weird transition in life.  Do you want to call it a midlife crisis?  Go ahead, I was 36 and trying to accept myself and not hate myself.   I started with nail polish, hair dye, new clothes, etc.   Then I mysteriously started to lose weight, and I thought it was great.   I was getting all these compliments, but I wasn't even trying to do it.  I wouldn't know why for another two years.   

     My church decided to shut down and the pastor's moved out of state.   I began to hate the apartment that I had been living in since late 2007.   It changed owners so many times, they lost their standards, let in the rift raft.   I got no sleep because all I could smell was marijuana in my apartment.  Had constant battles with sinus issues.  Not being able to freaking sleep well every night, because people were doing weird crap in the parking lot or loud music or getting in fights.   That last year, I had to call the police atleast every other week.  It was getting real old, and my depression was raging.  Then I had an epiphany, nobody is going to make me happy but by my choice alone.   Covid-19 only made the time alone  in my apartment worse.   

     So I started to look for homes to buy.   It was a tough process, because  it was a seller's market.  Houses would literally be listed and bought the same day.  That is how we got ours.   We bid on more than one house, but ultimately we got the house that suited our needs.  We did all this amid a pandemic and it wasn't easy but we got it all done.   I wasn't pregnant this time either.   HAHAHA.  We moved into the apartment when I was pregnant with my son.   

     This house has been a fresh start we needed, a lot less stressful, and the best decision we have ever made.  We were finally in a neighborhood that I could feel safe walking around in.   Which is what we did.  Well, until this past Oct when I rolled my ankle off the sidewalk and fractured my bone.   I heard it, and it sounded just like a branch being snapped.  Shivers.   I had to walk home on that foot, we went to Urgent Care, and eventually I ended up in Orthopedics.  Thank God it wasn't to bad, didn't need a cast.   In November, we had Thanks Giving.   It was nice, but we still could only have one person over.  December rolls around and the three of us contracted COVID.   

     All these people who preach that it's just a "bad flu" have never had it.   It sucks, it plays mind games with you.  My husband never got back all of his ability to smell.   Oh and back in May, I am pretty sure my grandmother died from it.  I was also hearing of friends losing their spouses.   It broke my heart, especially when they had been with them for decades.   Sometimes I wonder why I cry for people, but I have empathy I guess.  You hate to see people suffer.  

     In November we decided to add a dog to the family.  Her name is Dot, she's a pitbull and has the most sweetest personality.  She's most definitely, fit for us.

   I started having this issue where my feet would burn and itch, and at night they would feel like they were wrapped in ice.   I finally went to get it checked out.  I had diabetes type 2.  Thus the reason for the sudden weight loss, high blood pressure, high blood sugar.   I was going to appointments every other day for awhile.   It made me so depressed, and I could hardly stand myself.   My husband was there for me, and I don't know what I would do without him.  It was scary, because they told me, that based off my medical history, I've been like this for two years unchecked.  They checked my heart, my kidney, and put me on all these meds.

     I feel much better now.  Just felt the need to write it all out, so I could stop thinking about it.